So, I spent the 4th of July with my brother, his girlfriend, his daughter, and my own daughter...and a couple random people (his girlfriend's family) that were there for only part of the time. It was good day and it was nice to have that family time--I've missed it. It was nice to have my daughter be able to spend time with her cousin that is only a couple years younger than her and who she hadn't seen or spent time with in a'while--they got along really well and had a lot of fun together. I think my daughter had more fun with her cousin than she has had with some of her friends recently.
My brother has been going through a lot lately--and so have I. While we haven't been extremely close and have had our issues from time-to-time, he is my brother and I do love him...and it's nice to have people in your life who know exactly how and under what conditions you grew up and were there 24/7 and experienced it first hand, so have some understanding of why "you" are the way you are...because they're the same way in a lot of ways. So, even though I usually only hear from him when he needs something...and that was how I came to hear from him recently and got invited to a cookout at his house...I realize that he does try to give back in his way...the cookout being the way this time. I also realize that, in a way, it speaks volumes that he chooses to come to me in his time of need...that he knows, no matter how long it's been since we last spoke or saw each other, I'll help him if I'm able to. He has 5 other sisters he could have asked for assistance, but he came to me. Some might think that reflects badly on me...that it says I'm weak or give in or allow myself to be used or taken advantage of...and that may be true to an extent...but I think it also shows that I try to be there for the people I care about and try not to hold things against them...and, while I may complain about him not being around and only contacting me when he needs something, I do still love him...unconditionally...no matter what.
Having family on the brain, it's only appropriate to mention that today is my Stepdaughter's 21st birthday. She and I also have had our ups and downs, but I'm proud to be her mother--the only mother that she's ever had, really. She's put me through hell at times, but she's another who was there 24/7 and experienced first hand the same conditions I lived under from the time she was 8 until she was 18, so has a unique understanding of why I am the way I am...as I do her. When my mother died just a few months before my Stepdaughter's 18th birthday, she was there for me more than anybody else--and that's the truth. While I think a friendship of sorts existed between her and me prior to that, the friendship really solidified after my Mother's death and I sobbed uncontrollably at my daughter's high school graduation not only out of pride of the event (which at times I wasn't sure was going to happen), but out of sadness from the realization she was grown up and was going to be leaving home and joining the Navy and I was losing my best friend. While I may not agree with every choice or decision she's made, she's become a strong, independent young woman for whom my heart is filled with pride and love...and I will always be here for her...and will always love her...unconditionally...no matter what.
I don't know if my family members feel the same way about me, but I hope so...for their sake...for truly loving someone is very fulfilling...and, because I love them, I want them to experience and feel that same fulfillment and joy, which can't be matched...
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